Taking the big leap into real life
Finding matches online is not exactly rocket science. All you need is a great online dating profile and a willingness to make the first move every once in a while.
The rubber meets the road when it comes time to decide when to move things offline.
With all the internet dating horror stories going around, there is no denying the importance of taking this step delicately.
Here are ten questions to ask when online dating to determine whether meeting your match in real life is a good idea.
Online dating questions to ask before meeting in real life
What’s your full name?
Many people online use pseudonyms or even nicknames for their protection. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. However, when you decide to move things offline, you will need this important bit of information for your safety.
What made you interested in me?
Online dating epitomizes the idea of there being many fish in the sea. While this question may seem cliché, it is sometimes useful to know what made you stand out to them.
It could be that killer smile or quirky bio description, but either way, it helps you learn a lot about what your match is looking for.
Do you like your job?
Asking a question like this is a more subtle way to ask what the person does for a living without seeming materialistic. It also gives you an idea of whether or any work-related frustrations may end up being taken out on you.
What gives you the motivation to leave your bed every morning?
There is no wrong answer here as it all depends on what your match is interested in or passionate about. Again, the answer to this question is meant to let you learn more about the person.
Are you religious?
You also need to ask if you are either a devoutly religious person or a total non-believer. If it is something you feel passionately about, it is better to get it out of the way as early as possible. Knowing early on is vital because it is one of those conversations that could break a relationship later on.
What are your views on premarital sex?
We live in a day and age where there are sorts of opinions on sexuality. Some people believe in exploring, while others prefer to keep themselves for that special someone. This is another one of those internet dating questions you need to get out of the way before you get too invested.
What exactly do you expect from this experience?
This question is important as an offline relationship can only work if you are both on the same page. Expectations vary with some people wanting a serious relationship and other desiring nothing more than casual hookups.
Are you interested in other people?
And we are right back to the many-fish-in-the-sea nature of online dating. It would be naïve of you to think that you are the only one your match is interested in. Before you go falling in love and planning your wedding, make sure that they are ready to be exclusive.
What is your ideal first date?
Arming yourself with this information turns out to be quite useful. The first date doesn’t exactly have to be the same as your love interests’ fantasy, but you can always find ways to get it close. It is also a great way to determine certain traits, including outdoor vs. indoor nature and other specific interests.
Are you open to commitment?
There are two types of people on online dating platforms:
- The first group is the hopeless romantics who cannot wait to settle down and start their happily ever after.
- Then there are the commitment-phobes who would rather keep playing the field.
Whichever category it is you fall into, it is important to determine your match’s stand.
The last thing you want is to find someone who you like that either isn’t ready to settle down or is trying to force you to commit.
Bonus! Questions to ask before dating to really get to know each other
So now you know that at least on surface-level, you’re sharing the same values (i.e., religious beliefs, etc.). Now is the time to really get to know each other and figure out whether you’re compatible long term.
The list of questions below will help you decide if there is something more than the initial spark, or you should be looking forward to someone different.
What’s something you can’t live without?
The answer to this question will tell you a lot about your possible partner’s values and priorities in life.
For instance, if they say they can’t live without their friends and family, it means they nurture and invest in their relationships. On the other hand, saying that they can’t live without Instagram can be a red flag.
However, before you jump to conclusions, hear them out, and learn the story behind their answer.
What are your relationship dealbreakers?
This is the perfect question to find out what are the things that will make them quit, no matter how long you have been in a relationship. It will also give you a better picture of their boundaries in a relationship and life in general.
Sometimes, a dealbreaker can be a major life question like having children or not. Don’t you think it’s better to know before you dive in deep?
What do you dislike about me?
This question will probably catch your person of interest off guard, but you will definitely find out what kind of first impression you made.
A little bit of reading between the lines will tell you if they’ve created an idolizing picture of you in their head, which often leads to unreal and unmet expectations later in the relationship.
Love without money or money without love?
Let’s be honest, we all need money to survive. It’s a sensitive topic, but you need to know where your future partner stands regarding money issues.
Don’t fall for an instant “All I need is love” because you can’t live off of love. At the same time, be careful not to run into someone who abandons the ship the first moment money gets tight.
What’s something that angers you the most?
How people manage anger is of key importance to every relationship.
If they take the question lightheartedly, it probably means they don’t put an accent on the things that anger them or that they don’t hold grudges.
On the other hand, a straight answer will tell you if you can deal with what ticks them off and whether it will limit your freedoms in any way.
Are you the jealous type?
Finding out what makes him/her jealous will help you stay away from those things in the future. Of course, if you think that’s something you could live with, that is.
At first, jealously might look cute and romantic, but the moment it turns into possessiveness, it becomes a real problem. This question can help you not to confuse unhealthy jealousy with love.
How do you express your love?
Gary Chapman wrote the bestseller “The Five Languages of Love” and redefined how partners express love in a relationship.
You’d think it’s hard for everyone to fit into these five categories (and you are probably right), but they can still help you figure out how your date expresses love.
Maybe they have a completely different way of giving and receiving affection. Be curious and find out. Who knows, you may have similar love languages!
Do you think money can buy happiness?
Being rich isn’t necessarily the path to happiness, but we all agree that money matters. This question will help you get a better picture of how they perceive money and their personal relationship with finances, without seeming too nosy.
It will also tell you if they are hardworking and driven or like to ease it out through life.
These questions may not preempt all there is to know about your match, but they are an excellent place to start. You want to be sure that you are not exposing yourself to a nut job or someone who’s not looking for the same things you are. With these questions, you will also be able to avoid wasting your time.
Once you move past the small talk, you can ask more personal questions to create a deeper, intimate connection.
Throw them a curveball, make them think out of the box, and get to know them beyond the surface level.
Topics that open a door into another person’s inner world will help you decide if they are relationship material or just another fling.