Not all of us are gifted when it comes to approaching and attracting the opposite sex. In other words, we don’t know how to flirt.
No need to worry though, there’s still hope for those of us who weren’t born with the gift of suaveness!
It’s never too late to learn how to talk, act, and conduct ourselves, so we appear more attractive to others.
And, since the trend today is geared towards meeting people through the internet, the first flirting lesson we should focus on is how to catch the attention of people on online dating websites and dating apps.
9 Lessons on Online Flirting
Flirting is defined as the act of behaving in a way that shows that you are attracted or trying to attract someone.
The definition is easy to understand, but it’s the application that’s the problem.
From an online perspective, how do you show that you are attracted to someone when most of the interactions you will have with them are through chats, voice calls, or video calls?
You can start with these online flirting tips:
1. Start with Your Profile
Your online profile is going to help people form either a good or a bad first impression about you.
There’s a lot that people can tell about you just by reading your dating profile. The words you use, the way you construct your sentences, and the general content and descriptions you’ve put in are, technically, your first interaction with potential dates.
This is why it’s essential to start with your dating profile.
How to Flirt on Your Dating Profile
To get started with flirting online, concentrate on your descriptions. Instead of saying, “I like reading,” you can say something like, “I am currently reading this awesome detective novel that’s a total page-turner.”
Give out specific details about something that you’re interested in so the person reading your descriptions can quickly spark a conversation with you.
What to Avoid: Not putting in the time and creativity to make a dating profile that’s attention-catching could be your first mistake. You don’t have to write your entire life there. You just have to show interesting tidbits to attract the right person.
2. Give Compliments
No list of online flirting tips would be complete without suggesting giving compliments! After all, compliments are a great way to show people that you’re interested in them!
However, they have to be sincere.
For example, if you come across a profile of a lady who does amazing art, be sure to tell her so when you’re really impressed by her pieces. Don’t just stick to the corny and cliché, “Wow, you’re beautiful” line because it has been overused.
How to Flirt with Compliments
Do not state the obvious. If a woman or man is physically attractive, chances are they get plenty of compliments that praise their face or physique.
Instead, focus on something unique about them. Go through their profile and get your clues there. If a person you like happens to watch a lot of movies, compliment their good taste in films; if they talk about books a lot, compliment their taste in books, etc.
What to Avoid: Don’t just pass compliments left and right. They can come off as insincere, which can turn off any potential date. Do not over compliment someone either – that’s just annoying.
3. Ask Open-Ended Questions
Show that you’re genuinely excited about talking to a person by asking open-ended questions. It lets the other person know that you’re eager and interested in getting to know him or her. And, it keeps the conversation going.
How to Flirt with Questions
There are direct flirts and indirect flirts in the form of questions. You can start with indirect flirts like asking open-ended questions just to get the conversation going. Then in between your conversations, you can deliver direct flirty questions like, “What’s your biggest turn-on?”
What to Avoid: It may be tempting, but don’t drop those cheesy questions you read on the internet. For example, “Aren’t you glad you met me?” These types of questions will make you come off as over-confident.
4. Show Genuine Interest
When you’re interested in someone, don’t even think about playing it cool or playing hard to get. Doing this will make you lose your chance to get a date. Show your enthusiasm and eagerness, but not too much, of course.
How to Flirt That’s Not Too “In Your Face”
You need to approach this with a balance. Don’t go all out on showing your enthusiasm. Be steady, but don’t play hard to get at the same time.
For example, when your online date sends you a message, reply right away if you’re available. You don’t have to wait for 10 minutes before you reply for fear of coming off as too eager.
What to Avoid: What you want is to show that you are genuinely interested in getting to know the person you’re chatting or interacting with. Yes, you don’t want to come off too strong, but you don’t want to come off as disinterested either. Find your middle ground and balance.
5. Seem a Bit Unavailable to Create Curiosity
Online dating means you are competing with tens or even hundreds of suitors. Naturally, you have to go out of your way to stand out in the crowd. One of the top online dating flirting tips, thus, is not to seem too available.
How to Create Curiosity
It could be a delayed reply now and then. Or a casual and tactful mention of some other conversation you’re having on the platform.
This builds curiosity and makes pursuing you a lot more interesting. It also means you do not fall into the online dating clinginess trap that makes the process a lot harder than it needs to be.
What to Avoid: It is super important to know the difference between cute unavailability and repulsive games. Don’t go overboard with mentioning your options online. Instead, find ways to put it across as a witty joke.
6. Be Confident
A little confidence goes a long way when it comes to making online dating work. Remember that no one has time to let you come out of your shell. This is the kind of game where being coy does not get you any points.
How to Act Confident:
You can show your confident side by making the first move and reaching out after you make the match. It means being bold enough to actually plan an offline date with connections that you value.
Confidence is incredibly attractive and will not only earn you matches but keep them coming back for more with conversations that you both enjoy.
What to Avoid: Do not cross the line over to cockiness. No one likes an overinflated ego when it comes to dating. So, no bragging or bringing anyone else down to make yourself seem more awesome. Just be yourself, and that should be more than enough.
7. Use Emojis and Interesting Words
A well-placed emoji when talking to an online love interest goes a really long way towards expressing emotions.
More often than not, you do not have the freedom to send actual audiovisual media with most platforms. At least not without having to pay for a premium subscription.
However, emojis help convey emotions almost as well as a photograph or audio file would when flirting online. This makes them absolutely priceless as far as useful online dating tools go.
How to Flirt with Emojis
Use emojis to show your reaction and give a bit more personality and emotion to your conversation. You could also use suggestive ones to flirt subtly but noticeably.
In addition to emojis, the language you use could make all the difference with online dating. Try using interesting words that make you look smart without painting you as a showoff.
This doesn’t mean you have to suddenly turn into Shakespeare. However, consider laying off incomprehensible slang or basic cliché language.
What to Avoid: With both emojis and the interesting words, there is a fine line between fun and awkward. Don’t flood them with emojis to the point that the conversation looks like a jar of M&M’s. Also, make sure to avoid excessively complicated words that make you come across as pretentious.
8. Be the One to End the Conversation
This is easily one of the most ingenious tricks to keep an online interest coming back for more with every conversation. Many of us assume that it is the person who starts the conversation off who matters the most. The truth is that whoever ends it has just as much power!
How to Do It
Try to end things on your own terms, including cliffhanger conversations that will have them excited to talk to you again soon. This enhances your air of mystery and attractive unavailability, which is a powerful magnet for people online.
It is a brilliant way to make them more interested in you!
It also allows you to totally flip the script and have the person you are interested in actively pursue you instead of you having to make all the effort to get their attention!
What to Avoid: Make sure to let most conversations play out before ending them. Leaving your matches on cliffhangers every single time will get old fast and might have the opposite of the desired effect. It also doesn’t hurt to let them occasionally end things.
9. Tips for Offline Flirting
When everything is all set, and your online date is reciprocating the flirts that you’re giving out, it’s time to take things offline. Ask your online date to meet with you in real life, and then continue the flirting face to face.
How to Flirt in Real Life
This time, because you’re moving things offline, you’re going to need more than your words. You’re going to need to show the right body language.
So, basically, it’s a combination of your words and your actions. Research shows that 80% of communication is non-verbal!
Here are some tips to get you started:
- Smile, of course.
- Maintain eye contact when speaking to your date.
- Make sure that you don’t cross your arms.
- Lean a bit more inward when having a conversation.
- Slow your movements, especially when you’re nervous.
What to Avoid: Make sure that you don’t show body language that’s closed. As mentioned, do not cross your arms or your legs.
Final Thoughts on Online Flirting
Flirting is an art, and you have to learn to master it.
It’s going to feel awkward at first, but the more practice you get, the better. Eventually, it is going to come out like a natural impulse.
When you get to this point, you don’t have to worry about interacting with the opposite gender anymore. You’ll probably have more dates than you can handle!