How to Set Realistic Relationship Expectations

When you start online dating, you will find out what the hype is all about. Aside from finding a potential match and partner, you can have a good time talking to and flirting with people.

However, as we get entwined in the charm of finding true love on the internet, we don’t realize that the possibility of us getting let down is huge.

Why would we be let down?

Well, it’s because we did not set realistic relationship expectations for our dating life from the start.

Relationship Expectations Have Everything to do With Your Perspective

Before you even sign up for any online dating site, you have to keep things in perspective. Figuring out what you are after should be done early on so you won’t have any disappointments later.

Although your goal is to find the right match online, you still have to remember that you’re ultimately opening yourself up to strangers.

If you’re wondering what are realistic expectations in relationships when it comes to online or app dating, read on!

Do some self-reflecting

Before you start meeting people, think about what you’re looking for. Do you want a serious relationship, or are you just looking for a casual fling?

After you figure out the kind of relationship you want, you should talk to your single friends about what the online or app dating world is like. Talking to your single friends will help you gain a better perspective on the reality of online dating.

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: 10 Questions to Ask Your Online Match Before You Meet Offline

Do not focus on the superficial

When you are looking for a partner, it’s important to look past the outward appearance of a person. Of course, you shouldn’t discount it completely because appearances are important. However, what you see on the outside shouldn’t be your top determining factor in finding a mate.

Be willing to step out of your comfort zone

As you are online or app dating, you will see that there are a lot of people that you can meet. In fact, there are many more options than ever before.

It’s best to be open to the different people you meet. Don’t just stick to the usual “types” you usually go for. You have options, so make sure that you use them!

Accept that you are not everyone’s cup of tea

Remember that you cannot please everyone. Before you go online or app dating, accept this idea on the get-go. It’s impossible for you not to be faced with rejection, so you will handle it easier when you accept that not everyone is going to find you attractive.

Give time for things to develop

When chatting or video calling with someone, don’t expect sparks to happen just yet. Sometimes, they do, but in most cases, things will need a bit of time to develop.

Give your connections some time, and you should never rush into things, especially if the other person isn’t ready yet.

After you have mastered all of these rules and tips, you will find it easier to deal with the pressures of online and app dating. Next, let’s take a look at some reasonable and unrealistic dating expectations.

6 reasonable expectations in a relationship

Getting enough affection and attention

It’s absolutely okay to expect intimacy, affection, and attention from your partner when you are in a committed relationship.

Some partners’ love may take more of a physical form like holding hands, kisses, and even foot-rubs. Others feel more comfortable expressing it through words and gestures.

It’s very important to learn how they communicate their love. It may show you ways your partner was showering you with affection without you even being aware of it.

Being respected

A good partner will always respect both you and your boundaries. Expecting perfection will only lead to disappointment, but when you seek respect, you actually need the freedom to be who you are as an individual and to be loved for all your flaws and virtues.

In a respectful relationship, there is no belittling or name-calling, no matter how heated the situation gets.

Spending quality time together

You have all the right to expect and request your partner to spend quality time with you. A healthy relationship requires work and dedication in order to stay on the right track.

So, there’s no better way to show how much you mean to one another but to spend time together. Every couple is different, so work out what’s best for you. Communication is key in a relationship.

Your relationship will face challenges

Change is the only constant in life. And with change come challenges. Stepping into the unknown requires courage but also gives the best life lessons.

As partners, you may have different values or opposing opinions on big subjects like parenting and finances.

Even though it can cause a lot of friction, if your relationship is based on love and mutual understanding, it can only lead to the growth of both you and your union.

You’ll never get everything you want

No two people are the same. In a relationship, expect to have needs, wants, and opinions different than your partner’s. This is why compromise is so important, but it can also be a tricky balancing act.

No matter what situation you are facing, take a step back and see if what you are arguing about will matter in the long run. After all, you can always be right, or you can be happy. 

You won’t agree on everything

What looks good on paper doesn’t always fly in real life, but you can’t expect to find an absolute match in a partner. After all, you are two different people with individual thoughts, values, and perspectives.

You can have very different opinions on serious topics like religion and finances, but being able to talk about your differences can seriously enrich and solidify your relationship. Remember, compatibility doesn’t exclusively mean similarity.

6 unrealistic expectations in relationships

Constant communication

Believe it or not, but over-communicating is a thing.

Constant texting/calling is quite common in the early stages of a relationship when the partners are still learning about one another.

However, if it doesn’t evolve in a healthier way of communication, it can cause some ugly damage.

Why, you wonder?

Because expecting your partner to be always available can put them under serious pressure, and that will eventually backfire. Just remember, there are other ways to show love and care than being on the line 24/7.

Good relationships are effortless

“What comes easy won’t last. What lasts won’t come easy.” In no way should a relationship feel like a battlefield, but if you expect it to be an absolutely smooth sail, you are fooling yourself.

Perfect relationships exist only in movies. Real-life unions require work and effort, especially during times of crisis. If you want a successful relationship, be ready to invest yourself.

Being able to change your partner

People do change, but usually on their own terms. A burning desire to change your partner is a major red flag in a relationship.

If you really believe their character/behavior is the reason behind all your problems, then maybe it’s better to part ways, don’t you think?

However, before you hit the road or turn your partner into a DIY project, take a step back and get a clearer view of the situation. Maybe all you need is a different perspective.


If you can’t reach perfection, why should you expect it from your partner?

Failure is part of the human experience. That’s how we evolve and learn to be better. Eventually, they will fail at something, and that’s absolutely okay. It’s unrealistic to expect them never to make a mistake, never to forget anything, or never hurt your feelings. Taking that risk is what makes a relationship exciting and enjoyable.

Always wanting the same things

People in serious relationships usually share a similar ultimate goal for the future. Being on the same page regarding important decisions like marriage, forming a family, buying a house, making serious investments, etc. is essential.

However, you can’t expect your partner to agree with you on everything in life. Sticking to your values and beliefs is part of maintaining healthy personal integrity. Sometimes, it’s just better to agree to disagree and show respect and understanding.

Your partner as a source of happiness

Should you expect your partner to make you happy? Absolutely, yes!

Should they be your one and only reason to be happy? Definitely, no!

If you are not happy with yourself when single, you won’t find true happiness in a relationship.


Because true happiness comes from within. And there is no elevator to it, you need to take the stairs. You need to find that spark that will keep burning no matter what life puts you through. Don’t allow a breakup, losing a job, or parting ways with a friend to take away your happiness.

josh author and dating coach at virtually single online

With a deep understanding of Latin culture and years of experience in the dating scene, I am passionate about sharing my insights and advice on my blog. As a Latin dating expert, I offer tips and guidance on everything from flirting and making a great first impression to building a strong and lasting relationship. If you're new to Latin dating, my blog is here to help you find success and happiness in the world of Latin love.

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